America just went full hermit. And I'm not talking about your uncle who moved to Montana and grows his own quinoa. I'm talking about the world's superpower deciding that global engagement is overrated and isolation is the new black.
Here's what happened: We built tariff walls higher than my student loan debt. 10% baseline tariffs on EVERYONE.
It's like America decided to become that neighbor who builds a 12-foot fence and then complains about property values. Turns out when you act like a hermit, your neighbors start treating you like one.
The hermit comparison isn't hyperbole. America has a rich tradition of celebrating loners who "chose solitude as an expression of freedom." Difference? When your crazy uncle becomes a hermit, thanksgiving gets weird. When America does it, global trade collapses.
Immigration policy got the hermit treatment too. We're now screening human mobility like it's a dating app for sociopaths.
Cuba back on the terrorism sponsor list—not because of new evidence, but because someone googled "countries that annoy us" and Cuba was trending. Here's the twisted logic: Cuba policies create humanitarian crisis → drives more Cuban immigration → justifies tougher immigration policies.
It's like setting your neighbor's house on fire and then complaining about the smoke in your backyard. The psychology here is fascinating and terrifying. Hermits withdraw because they view society as corrupting. Sound familiar?
America's essentially saying: "The world is morally bankrupt, so we're taking our ball and going home." But this isn't just any hermit. This is the hermit who owns half the town's businesses, employs everyone's kids, and holds the mortgage on the community center.
When the town's biggest player goes rogue, everyone suffers.
The "reciprocal tariffs" language is peak hermit behavior. It's transactional isolation: "I'll only engage with you if you meet my exact standards of behavior." That's not diplomacy—that's emotional blackmail with trade policy.
Energy policy got weaponized too. Trade with Venezuela, Iran, or Russia? 25% tariffs on ALL your stuff. It's moral geography: "If you talk to people I don't like, you're dead to me." Very mature. Very sustainable. Very hermit-like.
The Global War on Terror got rebooted and tied to immigration. Because nothing says "21st-century foreign policy" like recycling your greatest hits from 2001. It's the international relations equivalent of a band that only plays their first album.
Some of these tariffs have expiration dates in July-August 2025. It's strategic hermitage—withdrawal as a negotiation tactic. "I'm not talking to you until you do what I want. But I might talk to you later if you're good."
The cultural precedent is real. American literature celebrates hermits and recluses as expressions of rugged individualism.
Problem: What works for Thoreau at Walden Pond doesn't scale to global superpowers. The pond is now the Pacific Ocean. Robert the Hermit of Massachusetts chose solitude after being "separated by force from his family" due to slavery. His hermitage was response to trauma.
America's hermitage feels similar—response to perceived betrayal by international systems. But the trauma is largely self-inflicted.
The fortress mentality is textbook hermit psychology: prioritize security and self-sufficiency over benefits of engagement.
Except fortresses only work if you can grow your own food, mine your own materials, and manufacture your own iPhones. Spoiler: You can't.
Canada's retaliation shows how isolation breeds isolation. When you act like a hermit, people stop inviting you to parties. Then you complain about being lonely.
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy with nuclear weapons and the world's reserve currency. The temporary nature of some restrictions suggests this might be calculated hermitage—using isolation as leverage rather than permanent withdrawal.
But here's the thing about bluffing: Sometimes the other players call your bluff. Sometimes they leave the table entirely.
What makes this especially dangerous: Individual hermits hurt mostly themselves. When global superpowers go hermit, they hurt everyone. Your solitude becomes everyone else's economic crisis. Your spiritual journey becomes their supply chain nightmare.
The "reciprocal" framing reveals the transactional thinking: relationships as conditional exchanges rather than ongoing partnerships. It's viewing diplomacy like day trading—optimize for short-term gains, ignore long-term consequences.
Here's the economics: Hermits might achieve spiritual renewal through solitude. Nations achieve economic stagnation through isolation Adam Smith wrote about wealth of nations, not wealth of hermits. There's a reason for that.
The moral absolutism is classic hermit behavior: world divided into pure/corrupt, acceptable/unacceptable, us/them. Complex geopolitical relationships reduced to "Are you with us or against us?" Binary thinking for a quantum world.
So what happens next? Either America emerges from its hermit phase renewed and ready to re-engage (unlikely given the personality disorders involved), or this becomes the new normal.
Option A: Temporary strategic withdrawal. Option B: Permanent economic isolationism.
Bottom line: America's hermit era reflects real frustrations with global leadership costs. But choosing isolation over reform is like burning down your house because you don't like the paint color.
The world needs leadership, not hermits. Even really well-armed, financially powerful hermits.