Sherlock: The Case of America's Disappearing Democracy
The clink of cutlery and the low murmur of conversation fill a dimly lit, upscale steakhouse in Dallas, Texas. Sherlock Holmes sits across from John Watson at a corner table, scrutinizing the room while absently cutting into a barely-touched steak. Watson is enjoying his meal until he notices Sherlock's gaze locked on a table across the room where several well-dressed businessmen are laughing loudly.
SHERLOCK: (speaking rapidly) Petroleum executive, tech entrepreneur, defense contractor, and—oh, fascinating—a federal judge. All dining together despite obvious conflicts of interest. The executive just passed something under the table to the judge. Not money—too obvious. A thumb drive, Watson. Information is the currency here.
WATSON: (putting down his fork) How could you possibly know their professions from here?
SHERLOCK: (sighs) The executive's watch—limited edition Rolex commemorating a major oil company's centennial, only given to board members. The tech entrepreneur's shoes are custom-made sustainable bamboo, paired with a $5,000 suit—typical Silicon Valley contradiction. The defense contractor has military posture but civilian clothes, and the judicial pin on the fourth man's lapel is rather hard to miss, isn't it?
WATSON: (taking a sip of water) Right. Well, speaking of corruption, I was reading this rather disturbing article this morning about the state of American democracy. It suggested the U.S. might be sliding toward something called a kleptocracy.
SHERLOCK: (suddenly interested) "Rule by thieves." From the Greek kleptein, to steal, and kratos, power. Go on.
WATSON: Trump's been dismantling anti-corruption institutions since his inauguration. Fired inspectors general, undermined independent agencies, shut down the Kleptocracy Asset Recovery Initiative—
SHERLOCK: (interrupting) Not just undermining them, Watson—he's replacing them. Every system needs its checks and balances. Remove the original ones, install your own, and suddenly the scale tips exactly how you want it to. (gestures with his knife) The players change but the game remains the same.
WATSON: The article mentioned something called "Schedule F"—now "Schedule Policy/Career"—that allows civil servants to be reclassified with fewer job protections. Apparently, it would take America back to some 19th-century "spoils system."
SHERLOCK: (eyes lighting up) Oh, that's brilliant! Insidious, but brilliant. Civil service reform took decades to implement for a reason. The political independence of government workers prevents a president from turning the entire federal workforce into personal employees. (leans forward) With one executive order, he's attempting to dismantle 150 years of anti-corruption safeguards.
WATSON: But surely Americans wouldn't stand for that. They're quite proud of their democracy.
SHERLOCK: (gesturing at the room) Look around you, Watson. This is one of the most expensive steakhouses in Dallas. Who's here? The wealthy, the connected. (nods toward a different table) The woman there wearing costume jewelry to appear wealthier than she is? Middle management, stretched thin, spending a month's entertainment budget on one meal to network with potential clients. But the table of gentlemen next to her? Old money, discussing opportunities from new tariffs while average citizens will bear the costs.
WATSON: (frowning) The article mentioned that—how in a kleptocracy, taxes fall more heavily on the poor and middle classes, while social programs get cut.
SHERLOCK: (steepling his fingers) The genius of modern kleptocracy is how it operates within nominally democratic frameworks. It's not the crude theft of dictatorships past—it's systematic wealth redistribution upward through policy. (points to his phone) I've been tracking companies with connections to key administration figures. Their stock prices increased an average of 23% more than market competitors since the inauguration.
WATSON: That can't be coincidence.
SHERLOCK: (smirking) You know how I feel about coincidences. The universe is rarely so lazy.
WATSON: (thoughtfully) The article mentioned something called DOGE—Department of Government Efficiency—run by Elon Musk. It's apparently trying to access the U.S. payment systems, tax information...
SHERLOCK: (suddenly animated) Yes! The perfect example! A billionaire who donated hundreds of millions to elect the president now leads an extra-governmental body with extraordinary powers, while simultaneously holding billions in government contracts. (stands suddenly, pacing) It's the classic kleptocratic playbook, but with an American twist.
WATSON: (concerned) But America has always had corruption scandals. What makes this different?
SHERLOCK: (stops pacing) Scale, Watson. Speed. Integration. (sits back down) In a healthy system, corruption is an anomaly—a disease the body fights. In a kleptocracy, corruption becomes the operating system. (gestures with his hands) The article mentioned three key characteristics of kleptocracy: systemic corruption that's deeply networked and self-reinforcing; economic distortions so massive average citizens can't miss them; and so many scandals so quickly that citizens feel powerless.
WATSON: (realization dawning) Like "flooding the zone with shit"—that Steve Bannon strategy.
SHERLOCK: (nodding) Precisely. What's most fascinating is that America has never seen this pattern before. The article called it an "Influence Market" country—democratic, good governance, clean civil service. No country of that type has ever fallen into full kleptocracy. (eyes gleaming) We're witnessing a completely novel political experiment.
WATSON: (darkly) Not much comfort to those caught in the experiment.
SHERLOCK: (sobering) No. It isn't.
A waiter approaches with the check.
WAITER: Gentlemen, will there be anything else?
SHERLOCK: (observing the waiter closely) No, thank you. Though I imagine you're quite concerned about the proposed changes to Medicare and Medicaid, given your mother's condition.
WAITER: (startled) How did you—
SHERLOCK: Your phone screen lit up in your pocket—notification from a caregiver app. The specific shade of blue is from CareConnect, commonly used for coordinating elder care. The calluses on your fingers suggest long hours of work—multiple jobs, I'd wager—and the prescription discount card peeking from your wallet indicates managing chronic medications on a limited budget.
WAITER: (quietly) Yeah. Mom's costs already eat half my paycheck. If they cut those programs...
The waiter walks away.
WATSON: (after a moment) So what's the solution? The article mentioned some "dekleptification" strategies, civil society action through courts...
SHERLOCK: (paying the bill) The most effective response is always early intervention. (stands up, putting on his coat) The article had it right—Americans have their own history of fighting back. The Roosevelts, the muckrakers, the civil rights movements. Legal challenges have already begun.
WATSON: (standing) And if that fails?
SHERLOCK: (with sudden intensity) Then America will have finally done what many thought impossible—transformed the world's leading democracy into a playground for the wealthy few. (adjusts his scarf) The greatest trick the devil ever pulled wasn't convincing the world he didn't exist, Watson. It was convincing ordinary people that their democracy was intact while it was being auctioned off piece by piece. (heading for the door) Come on, we've got a flight to catch.
WATSON: (following) Where to?
SHERLOCK: (with a grim smile) Washington. If America's becoming a kleptocracy, that's where the case breaks wide open—or democracy breathes its last.
They push through the restaurant doors into the Texas night, leaving behind tables of diners oblivious to the transformation of their nation being discussed around them.
https://foreignpolicy.com/2025/03/25/america-kleptocracy