Sherlock Holmes: THE NEW ARISTOCRACY
The scene: Sherlock Holmes reclines in a velvet armchair at an ostentatious Florida resort, martini in hand, his sharp eyes scanning the room with precise, calculated movements. Dr. Watson sits opposite, adjusting his collar, visibly uncomfortable amid the gilded excess. Crystal chandeliers catch the light above them, and the murmur of wealth fills the air. Outside, peacocks strut across manicured lawns, their cries occasionally piercing the evening.
WATSON: (whispering, leaning forward) Sherlock, this place—it's ridiculous. Gold everywhere, peacocks strutting about like they own the grounds. How did we end up here?
SHERLOCK: (with rapid-fire delivery) Oh, Watson, we're not here for the decor—ghastly as it is. American rococo, if one were charitable. No, we're here to observe the new kings of America. The tech oligarchy. (gestures with olive pick) Look around. This isn't a resort; it's their throne room now. This estate has become the beating heart of their empire.
WATSON: (furrowing brow) Tech oligarchy? You mean Musk and his lot?
SHERLOCK: (eyes lighting up, speaking rapidly) Precisely. Elon Musk, Marc Andreessen, Peter Thiel—they've seized the reins of power under the current administration. They're not merely influencing policy; they're authoring it. Democracy has been relegated to the backseat of one of Musk's Teslas, probably on autopilot while he tweets about Dogecoin.
WATSON: (frowning deeply) But how? America's supposed to be about elections, the will of the people—not billionaires calling the shots.
SHERLOCK: (steepling fingers beneath chin) Elementary economics, Watson. Wealth concentrates, power follows. These men command fortunes that make Rockefeller look like a street vendor. Take Musk—his latest venture is the Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE. (raises eyebrows) Yes, he named a government department after a cryptocurrency meme. He's essentially a child with a branding iron and a trillion-dollar sandbox.
WATSON: And what exactly is this DOGE doing?
SHERLOCK: (leaning forward intensely) It's a wrecking ball with governmental authorization. Musk's tasked with cutting federal spending—$2 trillion, to be exact—targeting anything he deems "inefficient." Education, healthcare, environmental protection—all on the chopping block. He's deployed teams auditing the Department of Energy, the FDA, even the National Weather Service, hunting for "waste." (scoffs) But it's not about efficiency; it's about control. He's dismantling the state to pave the way for privatized, tech-driven alternatives—his alternatives.
WATSON: (alarmed) That sounds dangerous. Who's holding him accountable?
SHERLOCK: (with theatrical indifference) No one. That's the brilliance of it. He's unelected, unaccountable, and untouchable. The executive order on day one—rescinding previous AI safety regulations—handed Musk the keys to the kingdom. No more government oversight on AI development. Risks to national security? Public health? (dismissive hand wave) Irrelevant. It's all about "innovation," or so the narrative goes. Experts like Henry Farrell have warned this could destabilize entire industries, but Musk's too busy designing colonies on Mars to concern himself with such trivialities.
WATSON: (grimacing) And the others? Andreessen, for instance?
SHERLOCK: (eyes gleaming with intensity) Ah, Marc Andreessen—billionaire venture capitalist, crypto evangelist, and self-styled philosopher-king. In a January interview with Lex Fridman, he called for the complete shuttering of American higher education. Called it "ossified, corrupt, a relic of a bygone era." His solution? Let it fail like a bad startup and replace it with something leaner, techier—something he can mold. It's not just rhetoric; he's advising Musk's DOGE, pushing aggressively to slash university funding.
WATSON: (visibly shocked) Universities? But they're the backbone of progress—knowledge, research, critical thinking!
SHERLOCK: (speaking rapidly) Precisely why he despises them. Critical thinking threatens his monopolies. Universities produce ideas he can't patent or monetize. The administration's already acted—Johns Hopkins lost $800 million in USAID grants, Columbia $400 million. PhD programs are contracting, acceptances rescinded. It's not abolition yet, but it's a strategic chokehold. Andreessen's libertarian fantasy is a world where government's an inconvenience and tech titans orchestrate everything—education included.
WATSON: And Thiel? What's his game in all this?
SHERLOCK: (with dark enthusiasm) Peter Thiel's the puppet master of this entire production. He bankrolled JD Vance's Senate campaign—$15 million—to install his man into the Vice President's office. But Thiel harbors no fondness for democracy. In his 2009 essay, "The Education of a Libertarian," he argued quite explicitly that freedom and democracy are fundamentally incompatible. Blamed women's suffrage and welfare for undermining his capitalist utopia. He envisions a world where technology supersedes politics, where individuals—by which he means billionaires like himself—dictate terms unconstrained.
WATSON: (rubbing temples) That's... genuinely disturbing. He actually published that?
SHERLOCK: (with rapid precision) Oh, yes. On the Cato Institute's website, no less. He's remarkably transparent about his ambitions. Thiel's influence extends beyond superficial politics—Vance's Vice Presidency merely scratches the surface. He's channeling capital into crypto ventures, biotech, anything that consolidates power in private entities. The current deregulation spree provides his ideal conditions—observe the SEC abandoning crypto lawsuits. Binance, the world's largest cryptocurrency exchange, and Justin Sun, with ties to the administration—suddenly off the hook. It's perfectly calibrated for Thiel's vision.
WATSON: (grimacing) So the President is just their errand boy?
SHERLOCK: (with rapid-fire analysis) More accurately, a willing collaborator in a mutually beneficial arrangement. Day one, rescind the previous administration's AI executive order—national security implications dismissed entirely—then ban "government censorship" of social media. The SEC's withdrawing crypto lawsuits faster than you drop your phone during one of our rooftop chases. It's symbiosis, Watson. They provide financial backing, he provides regulatory liberation. Daron Acemoglu warned this concentration of power could erode democratic institutions, but the President's too occupied with his golf swing to notice.
WATSON: But the public—don't they see what's happening? There must be resistance.
SHERLOCK: (with smug certainty) The public is magnificently distracted, Watson. Social media—controlled by these same oligarchs—delivers precisely what users want to see. Algorithms aren't neutral tools; they're sophisticated weapons. Musk owns X, shapes the discourse. Andreessen's crypto dreams flood the digital conversation. It's not crude manipulation—it's elegant curation. Far more effective. And when dissent emerges, it's instantly buried under an avalanche of memes and manufactured outrage.
WATSON: And what about the other tech giants? Zuckerberg, Bezos—are they part of this too?
SHERLOCK: (nodding vigorously) Zuckerberg's Meta controls the global social graph—Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp. He's less flamboyant than Musk, but his influence operates more insidiously. Every post, every advertisement, shapes what billions perceive as reality. Bezos controls Amazon—40% of e-commerce, two-thirds of the cloud infrastructure with Microsoft and Google. Their platforms aren't mere businesses; they constitute the new public square. What presents itself as the "voice of the people" is filtered through algorithms they design and control. It's not explicit brainwashing, but it's certainly not democracy either.
WATSON: (quietly) So they're reshaping reality itself.
SHERLOCK: (with intense focus) Precisely. And current policies serve as their enabler. Consider the SEC's retreat—Mark Uyeda, acting chair, instructed staff to abandon proposals for cryptocurrency regulation. It's effectively a green light for Thiel's and Andreessen's ventures. Then examine the university funding cuts—Columbia lost substantial grants over allegations of "harassment of Jewish students," but that's merely pretext. Dissent is being systematically starved. Previous regulators—Lina Khan at the FTC, Gary Gensler at the SEC—attempted to establish boundaries through antitrust enforcement and regulatory oversight. The tech elite perceived this as existential threat, aligned with the administration, and now those guardrails have been dismantled.
WATSON: (sighing heavily) This feels insurmountable. Is there any way to challenge it?
SHERLOCK: (eyes narrowing, speaking rapidly) Potentially. Stronger antitrust legislation, campaign finance reform, a public that exercises critical awareness—but that's rather optimistic when half the country's tweeting adulation for Musk's latest rocket launch. They're not invincible, though. Every empire contains inherent weaknesses—overconfidence, internal conflict, strategic miscalculations in the public eye.
WATSON: (hopeful) And you've identified their vulnerability?
SHERLOCK: (with enigmatic smile) Oh, Watson, that's precisely why we're here. To locate it. These oligarchs believe themselves untouchable, but they've left evidence—financial connections, policy memoranda, arrangements negotiated in rooms like this. (with intensity) The game is afoot, and they remain oblivious to our participation.
WATSON: (with determination) So what's our next move?
SHERLOCK: (standing, adjusting cufflinks with precise movements) First, we assimilate. Circulate among the peacocks—both human and avian varieties. Then, we listen. These individuals are remarkably loquacious—about their grand visions, their acquisitions, their private spacecraft to Mars. And in doing so, they inevitably reveal their vulnerabilities. (with knowing look) Hubris, Watson. It's invariably hubris.
WATSON: (standing, straightening jacket) Right. Let's do it then.
SHERLOCK: (with a wolfish grin) Welcome to the new aristocracy, Watson. Let's determine its longevity.
The frame widens, revealing the glittering expanse of the resort—gold-trimmed walls, sprawling grounds, a monument to excessive wealth and concentrated power. Sherlock's gaze sharpens, mind already processing variables and connections, as peacocks call ominously into the gathering night.